she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
