Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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