So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
