She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Send help, water and tortillas.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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