Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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