...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize