Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
false alarm, still single
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