my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
