yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
