You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
