Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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