Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
