we're blogging at a bar
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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