I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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