if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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