I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I want to have your abortion
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
