we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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