mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
