You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
