I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
