Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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