4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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