sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
