You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
im holly from the hills drunk
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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