D3 body, D1 cock
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
