Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
