I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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