I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
