if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize