He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize