This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
