anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
