Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
