I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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