By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
