I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I can't put those talents on a resume
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
