i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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