just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
