all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
