he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
