Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
