So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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