its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
