dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
