let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
