Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
