i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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