Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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