you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
