haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
