I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So squirting runs in the family.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
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