saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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