is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
