All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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