As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
