no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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