hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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