do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
