i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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