Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize