All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
