im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
