her vagine was all disorganized.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
