I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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